How do you find balance between giving of yourself and renewing yourself?

As-salamu alaykum,

You are on a clinical shift that ends in a couple of hours. 

On this particular day, your transition off the shift coincides with a few personal commitments that are central to who you are - dinner with family, Maghrib salah at your local mosque and bedtime routine with your 5 year old son. 

A colleague calls you from the ED about 20 to 25 minutes before the shift ends and it dawns on you that today, you will not get to put your son to bed nor have dinner with your family but you are somewhat consoled that at least you can pray Maghrib close to its time in the hospital chapel or the clinician call room. 

Reality Check

Sacrifice or giving of ourselves is a central identity for many of us in healthcare. From the delayed gratification of the long years in healthcare education especially among physicians to the missed family gatherings and the tradeoff to take care of patients when the Friday prayer is being said at your local mosque (or even within the hospital walls) and you just can’t get there and many more instances like that.  

While these types of sacrifices are likely more familiar to you and I on a fairly regular basis, we must not forget the immense sacrifices of healthcare workers serving in Gaza (international volunteers and locals) alongside its people as the one year anniversary of the genocide is upon us. May Allah, the Most High, alleviate their pain and suffering and grant them victory. Amin

A Retreat and a Reminder

This weekend I got to rekindle bonds with old friends, build new connections and renew myself in the company of ~150 men at Muslim Men’s Retreat.

The theme of the retreat: Illuminating the Path: “Understanding Masculinity between Sacrifice and Self-Care”. 

The reflection sessions reminded me of our community of healthcare workers and how the idea of sacrifice is so entrenched in what we do to the degree that many of us forget to spend time on our own selves - to refuel and to nurture the key dimensions (physical, spiritual, emotional/mental and social) of ourselves  that impacts our growth and resilience on one hand and our potential to optimize our impact across the healthcare space and beyond.

I was fortunate to be able to take the time to invest in my own renewal in the company of many seeking a similar rejuvenation this weekend and renew my intentions for a healthcare work-life integration that is both fulfilling and impactful at the bedside and in clinical leadership as much as it   as it allows me to stay true to my muslim identity and its deep ramifications for life at work and outside of work.

Prophetic Wisdom

“Narrated 'Aishah: The Prophet PBUH called 'Uthman b. Maz'un. When he came to him, he said: 'Uthman, did you dislike my practice ? He said: No, by Allah, but I seek your practice. He said: I sleep, I pray, I keep fast, I (sometimes) leave fast, and I marry women. Fear Allah, 'Uthman, your wife has a right on you, your guest has a right on you, your self has a right on you ; you should keep fast and (sometimes) leave fast, and pray and sleep.” [Sunan Abi Dawud 1369]

To Invest in Self-care is to Sacrifice (give of yourself) Your Time, Energy and Focus for the Greater Good of a Better Version of You

Dr. Sarah Syed wrote in an article for the Khalil center titled “The Importance of Self Care”:

‘“My kids come first, my family comes first, my job is too busy, I can’t afford it, I don’t have the time.” These are the most common responses heard when someone is recommended to take time for self-care.’ 

“Many seem to think self-care implies spending money on spa services such as massages or a manicure or an expensive trip somewhere out of town. The truth is that self-care can be anything that helps a person to relax, do something they enjoy, and actually take care of themselves. When we make caring for others a priority over our own health, eventually we inevitably reach a point where we can no longer do well for whatever it is we prioritize.”

As Muslim healthcare workers with an aspiration for an integrated work-life that sets us up for growth, anchors us in resilience and leads to a life of impact, we can not continue to de-prioritize self-care. It is the very thing that will make us effective on the frontlines of healthcare and in the corridors of life outside of work to live a rich, meaningful and impactful life for the sake of Allah, the Most High.

Today, I am inviting you to consider 3 things;

1. Take a stand for yourself to invest in your own self-care

2. Choose an area of focus from the 4 dimensions (physical, spiritual, social/emotional and mental) of your essence. For example, your emotional/mental dimension.

3. Decide on a niche area that is a low hanging fruit but an area of high impact for you. For example, make space for “ME” time in the early hours of your day (often when you have the most clarity) to reflect and define your intention for the day within your broader vision for yourself.  Implement this by starting your day 30 minutes earlier or before the Fajr prayer comes in at dawn. 

PRO-TIP: Consider layering in 2 units of prayer, Qiyam al layl (Tahajjud prayer), as well as connect with the Qur’an during this pristine time. 

As many experts on habits and routines highlight, you may not see the change today or even in a month but the compounding effect of this “small” sacrifice to get you to your next best version in just a few months is immense and can not be overstated. 

Let me know how it goes in sha Allah 

May Allah, the Most High, allow us to prioritize self care so that we can become better versions of ourselves - growing, more resilient, and creating more meaningful impact - at home, in our communities and across the healthcare space as we serve humanity. Amin 

Sincerely,

Sulyman

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