The Companion Effect #2 - How do you find your Resilience Buddies?

As-salamu alaykum,

Just over 10 years ago, as my wife and I settled in a new city for her residency training, I walked into a local mosque and found 2 friends sitting together. They were young professionals - a surgical resident and a process engineer) - just like myself but they were doing something that I had rarely found among young professionals in my circle doing - one was reciting the Qur’an in a remarkably captivating voice and the other was listening and helping his friend optimize the nuances of an already powerful recitation.

It didn’t take very long for me to convince myself to join the “sitting” within a few minutes and to find my way into their company, Alhamdulillah.  Not too long afterwards, the circle grew to 4 with yet another young professional - a hospitalist - jumping in.

Fast forward 10 years from that moment and I can truly call these friends my resilience buddies and companions with all the weight that these words carry, Alhamdulillah.

A central piece of that journey has been our individual and collective journeys with the Qur’an. That journey recently took us all to a very special place that I will share next week in sha Allah.

For now, let's try to address the question of the moment.

How do you find your resilience buddies?

In my case, I literally stumbled upon them as you can see. The reality is that the stumbling was by design - by Allah’s design - but how might we tie our camels to find buddies that keep us grounded on this journey of service?

Divine Wisdom

In Surah Al-Kahf, Allah, the Most High gives us divine guidance in this regard,

“And patiently stick with those who call upon their Lord morning and evening, seeking His pleasure. Do not let your eyes look beyond them, desiring the luxuries of this worldly life. And do not obey those whose hearts We have made heedless of Our remembrance, who follow ˹only˺ their desires and whose state is ˹total˺ loss.” [Surah Al-Kahf: 28]

Allah, the Most High, highlights the metric by which to scout for companions and resilience buddies and to hold on fast to them - that their primary focus is on the remembrance of Allah - and as we shared last week, the central place of Allah, the Most High, drives these companions to go the extra mile for you.

A Quote About Companionship

 In a reflection about the verse referenced on Quranreflect.com, Dr. Sameera Ahmed shared this:

“Our companionship, or suhba, is important. Who we surround ourselves with. What thoughts, actions, and conversations we have. It shapes our biases and norms. It influences the desires we expose ourselves to and allow to settle deep into our hearts and minds. It impacts our psyche and our subsequent actions and behaviors.”

It’s no wonder that the more resilient folks among us when we dig deep always have a grounded support system that gives them that extra edge - the Companion Effect.

Practical Implications

I’m hopeful that at this point you recognize the immense impact that having righteous companions can have on your resilience so let’s highlight key steps to building your resilience buddy system;

1. Start with a Beautiful Niyyah (Intention)

Let your “why” propel you to approach your pursuit of righteous companions with emotional energy and a strong sense of purpose to find spiritual resilience that may just open the doors of paradise (Jannah) for you.

2. Supplicate for the Company of those that will Inspire You

One of my resilience buddies recently shared with me that anytime he relocates to a new city, he asks Allah, the Most High, to surround him with righteous companions and he remarked that this du’a has always been answered. So can yours and mine by Allah’s will.

3. Seek Righteous Companions Purposefully

Don’t just stumble upon them - Spend some time thinking about what qualities you aspire to on your journey to Allah, the Most High, as well as the growth and resilience trajectory that you seek. 

Are you trying to wake up for Fajr on time more consistently? Is reading the Quran daily your aspiration? or being more present with your family and your patients?

Seek out those who already have these in your circles and start a conversation today!

4. Show up to the Right Spaces

Find the tribe that you aspire towards and show up to those spaces that you are likely to find at least a few of them. Are you a father seeking the company of righteous fathers that you can lean on? Or a healthcare worker that’s keen to grow their connection to the mosque? Show up to these spaces and build a meaningful connection with just 1 person and see where Allah leads you. 

Colleagues and friends, the company of those seeking the pleasure of Allah, the Most High, in all aspects of their lives is not only inspiring, it nudges us to grow in the same direction and cultivate resilience grounded in the certainty of Allah, the Most High. None of us has to go this road alone. We can lean on others who are walking this path with Ihsan to find our own footing by Allah’s permission. Let’s do it together.  

In sha Allah, next week we will build upon this and the intriguing story of where my own journey with my companions recently took us. 

May Allah, the Most High, keep us in the company of those who are content with His countenance and support our journey of service in healthcare and beyond. Amin 

Sincerely,

Sulyman

P.S. I'm on a mission to help 15 Muslim healthcare professionals have a balanced and burnout-proof 2025. If you are keen to learn how to stay resilient and burn-out in the new year then let us know here. 

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